Organ Donation

Nothing sums up the abject ignorance and religious hypocrisy of the United States population like the current problems we have with organ donation. First let’s look at some statistics. As of July 20, 2006, 92,369 people need an organ transplant with about 67,000 of them needing a kidney. In 2005, 6,369 people died because they did not receive a transplant. Approximately 300 million people could be organ donors and yet registered donors only comprise about 30% of the US population. Ultimately somewhere around 20,000 organs which could save lives end up either incinerated or rotting six feet under. So why don’t people donate their organs?

“I do not want to be an organ donor because…”

“I want to have an open casket funeral”- First of all, you can have an open casket funeral because they sow you back up again. Second, have you ever seen those waxen corpses in the open casket which barely resemble their former selves? If you are that concerned about your appearance after death you should stop worrying about having a few stitches in your corpse and start looking for the world’s best taxidermist.

“I’m afraid doctors will not work as hard to save my life”- Bogus… operating room doctors have nothing to gain from this and its insane to assume they have some bizarre moral code which goes beyond their own medical records.

“I’m afraid they will take my organs while I’m still alive”- Organ donors actually receive more tests to confirm actual death… so if you think you lack the mental and physical strength necessary to bust out of a coffin buried alive a la Uma Thurman in Kill Bill Vol. 2, then become an organ donor.

“I’m too old, too sick”- Right doctors will just slash your dead carcass open and toss your malfunctioning spleen into someone else… they do tests, stop whining grandpa and just fill out the form.

“My religion forbids it”- This is a legitimate excuse if you are Shinto, a Jehovah’s Witness, or a gypsy (which is apparently a religion and not just a term for small-handed carnival workers?). Christianity, Judaism, and Islam (even if it’s going to an infidel?) all strongly encourage organ donation. Even the Amish support it (which is kind of interesting since they don't support things like cars or electricity).

Note: Jehovah’s Witnesses allow transplants only if all the blood has been fully drained from the organ (which is not the usual procedure). I can only imagine how many times this conversation occurs…

Doctor: OK, we’ve removed the liver.

Nurse: Um, he was a Jehovah’s Witness so we are supposed to drain all the blood from it.

Doctor: How about we just go ahead and not do that and not tell anyone?

Nurse: Fine with me.

Finally, the saddest thing is that an estimated 35% of potential donations are stopped by family members after the donor’s death. I wouldn’t recommend bringing this up to your family on a daily basis but it is a good idea to make sure they know that you really want to donate your organs. In summary, all you need to know about organ donation:

1. A lot of people need your organs.
2. You have no need for your organs after you die.