Dogs
I used to casually toss out “I hate dogs” which gave people the wrong impression about my feelings on these animals. Allow me to clarify. I think the concept of a non-blind person buying a dog that would not have otherwise been put to sleep is, for lack of a better term, stupid. In review, when is it ok to own a dog?
• You intend to use it as a seeing-eye dog.
• You adopt a dog that otherwise would have been killed.
• You need help herding sheep.
• The dog wasn’t going to be killed but he was going to live with lousy owners
Can you really call yourself a dog lover if you buy a dog and stick it in an apartment? Doesn’t a dog really need either a backyard or multiple daily walks to be comfortable? And why would anyone in their right mind pay for a dog? Apparently dogs actually cost a lot. If you are a “dog-lover” about to drop some serious cash on a puppy, please stop and think for a moment. Why are you paying for a dog when other dogs are being terminated? Are you paying for an obedient dog? Are you looking for a prestigious or rare breed? Why not put that money and the time you were planning on devoting to caring for the dog to better use?
Ok, hear me out on this… if you are thinking of paying a lot of money for a dog, I think you should consider adopting a retarded baby instead. I’m guessing that many mothers abort babies if tests show the child will be retarded and I’m guessing that there’s got to be someone out there who would carry the child for the $1000+ you were planning on spending on the canine. Think about it - even the smartest dog can’t be any more intelligent than a severely retarded person and even retarded people are capable of showing affection toward their caretakers. If you think people would be impressed with your full-blooded Jack Russell Terrier, wait until they see the retarded kid you adopted because, well, gosh darn it, you just hate seeing retards get aborted. You might think taking care of the kid would be a lot of work but so is taking care of a dog. Plus, you don’t have to take care of the kid as much as a real kid because he’s never going to have a real life. If anyone questions your child rearing methods you can just ask them how they dealt with it when their retarded kid who they saved from being aborted refused to heed their pleas to not sit down on the escalator.
• You intend to use it as a seeing-eye dog.
• You adopt a dog that otherwise would have been killed.
• You need help herding sheep.
• The dog wasn’t going to be killed but he was going to live with lousy owners
Can you really call yourself a dog lover if you buy a dog and stick it in an apartment? Doesn’t a dog really need either a backyard or multiple daily walks to be comfortable? And why would anyone in their right mind pay for a dog? Apparently dogs actually cost a lot. If you are a “dog-lover” about to drop some serious cash on a puppy, please stop and think for a moment. Why are you paying for a dog when other dogs are being terminated? Are you paying for an obedient dog? Are you looking for a prestigious or rare breed? Why not put that money and the time you were planning on devoting to caring for the dog to better use?
Ok, hear me out on this… if you are thinking of paying a lot of money for a dog, I think you should consider adopting a retarded baby instead. I’m guessing that many mothers abort babies if tests show the child will be retarded and I’m guessing that there’s got to be someone out there who would carry the child for the $1000+ you were planning on spending on the canine. Think about it - even the smartest dog can’t be any more intelligent than a severely retarded person and even retarded people are capable of showing affection toward their caretakers. If you think people would be impressed with your full-blooded Jack Russell Terrier, wait until they see the retarded kid you adopted because, well, gosh darn it, you just hate seeing retards get aborted. You might think taking care of the kid would be a lot of work but so is taking care of a dog. Plus, you don’t have to take care of the kid as much as a real kid because he’s never going to have a real life. If anyone questions your child rearing methods you can just ask them how they dealt with it when their retarded kid who they saved from being aborted refused to heed their pleas to not sit down on the escalator.
Labels: dogs
posted by joketrump at 8:07 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home