The Worst McDonalds in the World

(Written in 2007 in response to frustrations with the Mcdonald's at the corner of Broadway and Thomas, in Tribeca.)

Due to its convenient location, I frequent one of the worst run McDonalds in New York City. On average I’d say I go there three times a week and probably 90% of them are somehow marred by the extreme incompetence of the employees. It all starts when you first approach the register. Workers are generally milling around the bank of four registers. Some will be joking around, some will be taking a break eating candy, some will be sulking, and some will just be standing there with a blank look on their faces. These employees fall into two groups: on register duty and not on register duty. The problem is that it’s virtually impossible to tell the two apart. If you are lucky enough to catch the perfect storm of cashier apathy toward their duties and a glut of tourists (preferably with shaky English) you will see all hell break lose. No one is really sure who is on duty and who is not so the boldest person near the register (dreading, for once in their life, that they were first in line) makes a move toward one of the registers. The crowd looks on intently. If that brave soul has the luck to pick the right cashier - - one of the elusive “on duty” variety - - the situation might be salvaged. Other customers will gain confidence and some cashiers might be enlightened enough by the sight of their job actually being done that they start show faint signs of acknowledgement toward the mess of customers. Of course, if that first person is harshly rebuked with a curt “I’m not working” or is just met with a blank stare of apathy then anarchy reigns. You see the two Euro sightseers furtively whispering in non-English about who looks like they might be willing to take their money in exchange for crappy food. Another person darts out of the, by now, formidable whirlpool of people and makes a break for a manned register only to have the cashier pull away in a manner just ambiguous to break the confidence of the attacker. Finally the din of the crowd gets so loud that the workers get annoyed and one of them snaps of the most condescending, impatient and unnecessarily loud “May I take your order”? This will discourage the crowd just enough that some people are jockeying to be second in line so as not to face the register guessing game. Don’t they realize that if you’ve managed to confuse 10 people then the problem is probably on your end? I usually avoid the place during periods of heavy traffic but I’ve seen the full blown hurricane version of this about 5 times but getting a minor storm or a tropical depression of confusion is fairly common.

Assuming you manage to maneuver the line, you face the rest of the problems with the place. Occasionally the food is bad, occasionally they screw up your order, and almost always the employees seem to be in a bad mood. I’ve seen cashiers stop mid-order and carry on a conversation with a coworker until the customer walks away disgusted. About half the time they are out of anything frozen (shakes, ice cream) and their iced tea is not sweetened despite a lack of notification on the menu. The 4 piece chicken nugget order from the dollar menu is also a better deal (both in money and nuggets) than any of the regular nugget offerings (i.e. it’s more cost effective to order five 4-piece nuggets than the 20 piece) and, predictably, the cashiers seem to have no knowledge of this.