People Who Stand in the Way of Science Suck

Call me a nerd but I think science is pretty cool. Therefore, people who stand in the way of science and progress are pretty stupid. Nevertheless, people all over the globe continue to ignore “facts” and slow down the pace of scientific advance. Congratulations to these people, their mere presence on the globe retards the intellectual growth of the human race and makes us all dumber.

The latest example of this idiocy comes from North America. In summary, the National Geographic Society is currently collecting DNA samples from indigenous populations- - who have the purest genetic makeup—in order to trace human migratory patterns. Apparently this process is going smoothly all over the planet EXCEPT in North America where indigenous populations are refusing to cooperate.

"But indigenous leaders point to centuries of broken promises to explain why they believe their fears are not far-fetched. Scientific evidence that American Indians or other aboriginal groups came from elsewhere, they say, could undermine their moral basis for sovereignty and chip away at their collective legal claims." (from the above article)

So we are going to strip them of their reservations because they originated from somewhere in Africa? I thought we already knew this. Are they going to be stripped of their “collective legal claims” because they spent a millennia in Asia before coming over to the Americas? I’m not saying US atrocities against the Indians weren’t heinous but this isn’t the 1860s and the president of the National Geographic Society isn’t Andrew Jackson.

“'It’s a benefit to science, probably,' said Dr. Mic LaRoque, the Alaska board’s other co-chairman and a member of the Turtle Mountain Chippewa Tribe of North Dakota. 'But I’m not convinced it’s a benefit to the tribes.'"

I love how Mic LaRoque, a community leader, concedes that the project is “probably” a benefit to science. Potential information from a project such as this could shed light on migration patterns and trace the path of populations, culture, technology, and genetic lineages. It would give us insight into our impressive expansion from humble beginnings in Africa to global domination. Finally, it would provide the basis for the greatest stoner/naturalist-geek documentary since David Attenborough narrated “Life of Mammals”. So, yeah, “probably” going to provide a few more “facts” for a few more “scientists” to write about.

Why are these Native Americans so worried about some DNA tests? Turns out there’s a precedent of DNA tests coming back to haunt Indian tribes.

"Some American Indians trace their suspicions to the experience of the Havasupai Tribe, whose members gave DNA for a diabetes study that University of Arizona researchers later used to link the tribe’s ancestors to Asia. To tribe members raised to believe the Grand Canyon is humanity’s birthplace, the suggestion that their own DNA says otherwise was deeply disturbing."

Wow. If they got pissed off about that then wait until we tell them that the earth isn’t riding on the back of a giant turtle. Actually, I don’t buy that a lot of people were disturbed. You grow up your whole life believing that man sprang forth eternal from the Grand Canyon (probably among other beliefs which are not scientifically verifiable) and then some “scientist” comes along and says, “Actually, you migrated over the course of a million years from Asia across a now-nonexistent land mass to your present day home… oh yeah and you evolved from apes,” and so you immediately drop your first spiritual belief system AND you become distraught? Upon hearing and digesting this news, I imagine you would have one of two reactions. You could concede that “science” is pretty cool and join the majority of the civilized world OR you could decide that it didn’t matter to you that some of your firm beliefs conflicted with modern scientific thought… and still join the majority of the world. (Note how the vast majority of people choose both.) Both options seem much more likely than wallowing in the void of your now-meaningless creation myth.

So back when Doctor Mic mused, “I’m not convinced it’s a benefit to the tribes,” what he meant was that the truth about your origin as a human race is not beneficial when it disproves your wild and crazy creation myths. (This is not to say the myth isn’t really cool, just that it didn’t actually happen.) Honestly, the truly “disturbed” Havasupai Tribe members (hopefully a small percentage of the entire tribe) seem pretty flimsy in their devotion. I could inform any number of Christian fundamentalists that science tells us people don’t rise from the dead and, therefore, Jesus was not the son of God. Do you think they would just give up their Christian faith? More likely, they would try to convert me. C’mon Havasupai, man up, have a little more faith in your religion and less in science- - the rest of the world does.