Clothes

I got a job as a consultant and my father asked me what it was like at the office. I described it plainly, “I sit in a cubicle like most other people. Some guys sit in offices and they wear ties.” My father, aware of my penchant to disregard appearance as unnecessary, replied, “If you wear a sharp pair of pressed pants, a nice shirt, and a great tie, people will notice you.” While I knew I could never live up to those expectations if I tried, I took simple comfort in the fact that the other day I had consciously not worn my new white sneakers in the rain in order to save their appearance for the new office. It might seem like a fairly minor thing in the grand scheme of “dressing the part”, I am proud of it… it’s progress.

Don’t get me wrong, I realized wearing nice clothes will get you ahead in life but so will lying constantly. And given my outlook on outward appearances, it really feels like lying for me. Some jobs (and situations within many more jobs) occasionally require dressing the part. If your job is selling insurance to people in a region and you notice most of them wearing fancy clothing, you’d be foolish to not dress the part for the sake of increased sales. That said, most jobs shouldn’t require such attention to your looks but they sadly do. People, apparently, equate productivity, efficiency, and professionalism with nice clothes.

Not only does this equation strike me as retarded and deliberately wasteful, but it seems out of line with a lot of other messages American society is sending our way. For example, some black dude (back when it wasn’t cool to be black) said something about judging people on the content of their character, rather than how they looked. Oh, I get it, while you can’t control your skin color, you can control how you configure your apparel, right?

Cutting to the point – I’ve always believed in function over form and substance over style. My personal philosophy with regards to clothes is strictly about utility over aesthetics. Therefore, here are some fashion trends which I think are silly.

Scarves – As I understand it, these things are about keeping people’s necks warm… and making the wearer looking like an adult. I prefer to wear hooded-sweatshirts, which serve the same purpose and are a lot harder to lose. Unfortunately, many people in society look at those who wear hooded-sweatshirts as “sketchy”, at best, and “a prospective rapist”, at worst. Another layer to protect against the cold… and a hood to fend off the wind… what’s not to love? I’m not asking that people come to their senses and replace their scarves with hoodies, I’m just asking for people not to judge me when I walk down the street.

High heels – Granted I don’t have to wear them so perhaps I shouldn’t comment but this one goes out to the ladies. High heels are absolutely ridiculous and should be banned. How is this not exactly like foot-binding (besides the fact that it’s not forced on children)? It reduces maneuverability, puts unnecessary stress on the foot, and, I honestly can’t believe it’s more comfortable than flat shoes.

Ties – I don’t think I need to explain how pointless these are…

Anything lacking an adequate amount of pockets – Pockets are so useful. Why aren’t cargo pants the norm in the business world? Because suit pants are more practical? Hell, why aren’t cargo pants the new jeans? They’re like jeans only with the added practicality of more pockets.

I dream of a world where my children wear cargo pants to business meetings and hoodies to formal dinners. I dream of a world where people are judged more on what they say and they do than by what they wear. Is it too much to ask that prospective employers consider interviewees’ words before dismissing them for wearing clothes that don’t match? It might be a pipedream but I’m sure MLK once thought a black guy being president was one too.