Random Stuff

Mild cases of schizophrenia can be amusing. Don’t get me wrong, schizophrenics that kill people are not funny. That’s the bad kind of schizophrenia. The good kind of schizophrenia is the mild kind that keeps you interested for the 25 minute subway ride home. Personally, I think that a guy having an in-depth conversation sprinkled liberally with spontaneous outbursts of reggae… with no one, is pretty funny.

(I can see how the above paragraph could be misunderstood to imply that a temporary bout of schizophrenia might be fun on the subway home. It definitely would be.)

I really do love the fact that the people who win the Nobel Peace Prize get the recognition they deserve. That being said, why is Cindy Sheehan anywhere near the discussion of the running? First the Rhodes Scholar and now the Nobel Prize? Why not give TO the Newbery Medal? Better yet, give the Oscar for best documentary to whatever hippie dreamed up “Loose Change”.

(Check out the list of Newbery Awards… even if you “hate reading” you will recognize a few. In summary, Bridge to Terabithia sucked and The Giver was amazing)

Apparently Chris Wallace is a card carrying democrat. (I’m tempted to make some comment about how this should have been expected considering how badly Clinton bitched him out but that would be wrong.) The part that made me smile was his original refusal to admit his party affiliation. Dave Chappelle called this. (It's 2:30 in but the whole thing is funny.)

I’m tempted to say only the French would do this but I can see it happening here. How can it be illegal to deny a historical event? So if solid proof exists for something it is illegal to deny its existence? Can I propose a law in this country against denying that the Raiders are the worst team in football? People who deny genocides should be ridiculed or ignored… not prosecuted.

Finally… only in New Jersey. Quick summary of the story: this lady had sex with her high school student, had a son with him, then married him upon his graduation, divorced him, then started an affair with her son’s high school friend… and she still kept her job.

Frivolous Lawsuits

When the going gets tough in America… sue someone. I don’t really have a problem with people suing other people- - people are stupid- - but I do have a problem with courts entertaining their pathetic pleas. We could look at the multitude of idiotic past lawsuits but instead we’ll stick to current events.

The first law suit is basically “people who smoke light cigarettes” vs. “the tobacco companies.”
The light cigarette smokers maintain that the tobacco companies lied about how the “health benefits” of light cigarettes over their non-light counterparts. This is kind of like an NFL quarterback throwing the ball into the stands and then pleading with the referee for pass interference. Maybe an infraction did occur but it does not warrant a penalty. Cigarettes contain chemicals detrimental to your health and everyone knows this. Whatever, why hold yourself personally accountable when you can just sue a tobacco company?

Anti-smoking advocates, predictably, are endorsing this lawsuit. This is ironic because if the defendants win this lawsuit I’m guessing the number of people who decide to switch to gum will be dwarfed by the people who use the money to buy a carton of cigarettes.

Whereas the aforementioned lawsuit only borders on lunacy (I’m rapidly running out of synonyms for “dumb.”) the next set of lawsuits cannot be even remotely justified. (Random aside: putting a period within quotation marks looks weird. They should change that.)

Nickelodeon, Kellogg, Nabisco, and Viacom are all facing lawsuits related to childhood obesity. Their detractors claim that these companies are marketing unhealthy food to children. Some guy is even trying to get Oreos banned in California by babbling about trans fat. (Some people are even proposing banning trans fat in New York City.)

These lawsuits might be valid if trans fat was the codename for an evil villain who broke into people’s houses and injected pure fat into them while they slept. It might also be legitimate if Viacom was hiring goons to force feed fat kids Twinkies. That being said, to my knowledge, these treacherous acts have not occurred. Wake up and smell the coffee (and then promptly sue Dunkin’ Donuts for not telling you the caffeine could keep you awake at night). People, especially kids, are fat because they eat unhealthy foods and they do not exercise enough. We might as well sue Nintendo for childhood obesity. I could go on about whiny fat people and whiny parents of fat children but it would just seem like I hated fat people. I don’t hate fat people… just fat people that blame others for their weight problems. Honestly, if having to wear your t-shirt in the pool isn’t enough to make you want to lose weight then I doubt a ban on Oreos in your state will turn you into John Basedow.

The next lawsuit I’m just linking and assuring you it did not take place at my alma mater. (I actually found it on The Volokh Conspiracy and I think you are supposed to cite it or do a trackback or something but I’m hoping all will be forgiven considering I gave them credit... and because I have an audience of four people.)

In summation, the only difference between people who win frivolous lawsuits and common criminals is that I respect some criminals.