Racism and the N-word

I feel somewhat bad about making fun of charity bike races in the last entry because they are just people trying to make a difference, albeit inefficiently. The perpetrators of the next absurdity are also just trying to make a difference but, as it so often seems, they end up just wasting a lot of time and money that could have been better spent elsewhere.

Well, New York City finally did it. They finally made the first step to eradicating racism when they recently banned the most unspeakable of racial terms, "in a symbolic attempt to eliminate its use in films, rap lyrics and everyday conversation." Alas, I will never again be able to say, "nigger" again (if it's in quotes it's ok to use in written word).

Truth be told I never use the word; it's not really anywhere near my vocabulary. That being said, I just had to use it once in this entry because, let's face it, the n-word is just about the coolest word that exists. (It’s a close race with “fuck”.) I'm not saying this is a good thing but it's true. Many suburban white kids love black culture and the word is commonly used by notable rappers and athletes alike. In addition, the word is severely forbidden. Remember when "fuck" was cool because nobody said it (think 5th grade)? The n-word is kind of like that except suburban white kids NEVER get to say it. If they so much as mumble it as they mouth a rap song they would provoke serious awkwardness among any blacks. The combination of rappers and "the forbidden factor" alone probably guarantees coolness.

(It's actually so forbidden that when an aide to the DC mayors office uttered the word “niggardly” he was publicly castigated and forced to resign before cooler heads prevailed and he was offered his position back. If you don’t find this absurd then you probably think I’m racist… and I can live with that. I guess the moral of the story is that people should dumb down their vocabularies for the benefit of the retarded/easily offended portion of the population.)

Despite the word being "cool" though, white people rarely if ever use it (for obvious reasons, though I will clarify them later). In fact, let's look at my unofficial chart of who actually uses this word in public, complete with scientifically accurate percentages of users.

- Gay Racists (0.00001%)- Not sure what to make of these people…

- Borderline racist white people (0.5%)- These people use the word because they heard their parents say it and it slips out when they become frustrated. Not dangerous, just kind of sad. (Note: They often start overtly racist mini-rants with, "Now, I'm not racist but…)

- Old black people-(0.5%) They are old black people. They have probably experienced racism that no young black, let alone myself, could ever imagine. Who is going to tell them to change their language now? I wouldn't want to.

- Racists-(0.75%) Real racists probably use the word a fair amount because their entire lives involve around firing themselves up to really hate black people. They join Aryan brotherhoods and pseudo-Klan groups and talk a lot about how white people are genetically superior. They are incredibly ignorant and laughable in most of society (Kansas apparently isn't "society") and they are looked upon as depressingly pathetic sideshow freaks. I'm not really worried about them because I see their days as numbered as the generations march forward. Sadly, this change, though inevitable, will come only with time, and not any sooner.

- Young black people (98.25%, rounded)- Young black people, as you can see, use this word a lot. They use it as combination of the Caucasian "boy" ("He's my boy" simply becomes, "He's my n-word".) and "man" (What's up "man"?) and "dude" (Hey, "dude" what's up?).

Before we talk about how the symbolic ban will do nothing, let’s go off on a small tangent and look at why white people can’t actually use the word. Ultimately, the meaning behind any statement is, in my opinion, completely dependent on the intentions of the user. I don’t buy the whole, “If it’s a good point, it doesn’t matter who says it.” This rationale is dangerous because a person’s intentions define their argument and shape its smallest nuances. For example, if a black intellectual and a Klan member took opposing sides over hate crime legislation, who would have the more valid argument? I would “take the side” of the Klan member given my stance on hate crime legislation but would find it impossible to take him seriously given his views.

My point here is that the intentions and values of the speaker completely determine the meaning of the word. Black people are free to say “nigger” because they are generally not racist toward themselves. So why can’t a non-racist white person use the word as casually as his black counterparts? In a ideal world, real racists would be relegated to obscure Klan meetings, right-wing punk shows, and extremists blogs. They would exist to be ridiculed for our amusement. White people could sing along to rap songs without looking over their shoulder and, at the least, people with impressive vocabularies could use the word “niggardly”.

Unfortunately, racism- - often apathetic racism but still racism- - is still pretty prevalent in our country. (I still stick by my previous cited examples but maintain that a significant amount of people are racist even if they don’t use the word.) The most blatant example (in my opinion) is the 2006 reelection of Trent Lott to the Senate. Let me put it succinctly. Trent Lott once declared that the nation would have been better off if Strom Thurmond had won the presidency in 1948. Thurmond ran on a pro-segregation platform. This isn’t George Washington owning slaves… this is a public statement that segregation was a good thing. I really have no words for this except that Mississippi should be collectively ashamed.

Ok, now get ready for a real tangent about the Michael Richards incident and his tirade from oh so long ago. Richards goes off on a black heckler during a show with a string of profanity sprinkled liberally with the N-word. Clearly Richards is an idiot but is he a racist? I have two theories.

1. Richards is not a racist… he’s just very stupid. He believes that the whole “N-word controversy” is immensely stupid. He also believes that he is not racist and therefore it is ok to use this word. He inexplicably believed the rest of the audience was coming with him on this theory. They weren’t.
2. Richards is racist and he’s in serious denial. Oh well, it’s too late for him to change now. (Seriously, how lame are “changes of heart” through "therapy" when you are over 50?) We’ll just ignore him and try not to let it bring down our enjoyment of Seinfeld reruns. (It doesn't.)
   

[The incident, predictably, drew the attention of Jesse Jackson. He even went so far as to call Seinfeld “lily-white”, unrealistic, and lacking in black characters. I’m tempted to comment on the irony here since Jackson once referred to NYC as “hymie town” (hymie- a derogatory term for Jews) and also once commented, “I’m sick and tired of hearing about the Holocaust.” That being said, ripping on Jesse Jackson is so easy it’s not even fun. (As opposed to ripping on people who believe in psychics, which is always fun.) Once again, I bring this up only because it’s amusing, not because it has any importance whatsoever.]

Sorry for the tangential rant. Let’s get back to the N-word ban. It’s absolutely pointless. Young blacks will still use the word and white people will still not use it. And I have no problem when they use it. I could go on about how “nigger” versus “nigga” is ridiculous but in some sense, its true. It is different when they say it… even if it began with just a slurring of the end of the word and not a conscious “empowerment” movement. Who is really being hurt by all this? How about the tax payers? Isn’t the bottom line that a bunch of politicians had nothing better to do than pass a symbolic ban on a word which is predominantly used only by the group it demeans?

Rather than just deride the easily-offended (though good-intentioned) people involved in this situation, let me propose an actual way to attack racism. Talk about it. Let’s have actual open dialogue about why racism exists and what can be done to stop it. It’s such a taboo subject in our society that it’s sad. Maybe you think I’m a racist but I’m pretty sure I’m not. Isn’t it sad that I had to reread this entry multiple times and consult outside opinions just to make sure it wasn’t offensive? Isn’t it sad that white people are afraid to give their unbridled opinions because certain people (mainly, but not by any means limited to, African Americans) latch on to any ambiguous statement and label it as racist? All this does is drive the wedge between races even deeper. Let’s lighten up, open our minds, and talk about all this and then, and only then, will we begin to make serious progress. I think racism is withering with the passing of each and every generation but why not speed this process up? Apparently, symbolically banning a word is therapeutic to politically active blacks and guilt-saddled whites so, hey, whatever helps you sleep at night. Bottom line… it’s an ineffective and cowardly approach to a serious problem.

Cycling for Charity

I just realized that it’s fairly easy to Google this blog and for some reason this makes me both immensely happy and scared at the same time. On one hand I feel like I’m only an internet-savvy relative away from ostracizing most of my family, but, on the other hand, I hold the coveted “I’m Feeling Lucky” spot for the always-popular “indigo children transfat john kerry” Google search. Now back to the unnecessary bitterness…

Inefficiency in the name of charity really annoys me. Since bike riders also piss the hell out of me it should come as no surprise that the combination of these two is almost too much to take.

First, a few words on bicycles, bicycle races, and bicyclists… they are all irritating.

- Based on purely anecdotal evidence, your average cyclist takes up way too much of the road and does not follow appropriate street-cycling etiquette. They also seem to think they have the right of way on the road, which is ironic since any car would reduce them to shrapnel in a collision.
- Most amateur bike riders wear annoyingly tight spandex outfits. If you are biking less than 100 miles or you aren’t in the top 10% of the human population in terms of physical attractiveness then you should not wear spandex or other similarly skin-hugging materials in public.
- The French love cycling… which is pretty much enough for me to dislike anything or anyone not named Zidane.
- Lance Armstrong sucks. His athletic accomplishments are astounding but I’m convinced he used performance-enhancing drugs. Actually, I’d still be impressed with his comeback (deathbed to Tour de France champ) even if he did use every steroid under the sun but I just can’t shake the feeling that he’s an asshole. I just wish he was black and he competed in a sport that even remotely mattered because then you know some old borderline racist government representative would find the spare time to head a federal investigation and get to the bottom of this.

Sorry for the tangent, back to the topic at hand. Charity bike rides are stupid. Cycling enthusiasts get a bunch of people to pledge money for a specific charity and then go out and ride their bikes for a while. In reality, these rides are merely elaborate excuses for people to miss work. No one is really more or less likely to donate a few bucks to your charitable organization because of the distance you are riding. Most of them were probably sold the second they heard “cancer” or “AIDS” and just gave you money so you would stop rambling about the bike ride.

(Have you ever donated money to one of these? Would it have made a difference to you if the person had been going two miles or 2000 miles? Either by bike or by foot? No one stops and thinks, “Hmm… I was going to give them money but 100 miles just doesn’t seem like enough to convince me to part with this 5 bucks.” I think most people just give a few bucks so they don't feel as guilty when the inevitable email with pictures from the Bike-A-Thon ends up going straight into the trash folder.)

Instead of charity bike races they should have “Charity Community Service Days” where you get people to pledge money but, and here’s the catch, instead of doing something completely irrelevant that you enjoy anyway, you do actual charity work. The soup kitchen has one more worker, your ass isn’t sore, and you still got some donations. (Better yet, why not just go to work and donate your salary for the day?) Ultimately, I guess I’m being overly critical since these people are doing a good thing but I can't help it. It’s inefficient…and bicyclists annoy me.